Gods Of Hentai

Good porn games are hard to find. Especially in the past, a majority of them were just excuses to look at naked women (or drawings of naked women) covered by the thin veneer of a game. Things like strip poker, dress-up (or undressing) games, and sex simulators flooded the internet. Many of them were serviceable, but none that I found were actually good.

The main problem for those that came close was that they focused a lot more on the porn then the game. Yeah, they might be sexy and good for some time alone with lube and tissues, but there are two parts to being a porn game—they should be fun to play, too. If they’re not, why wouldn’t I just head over to one of my favorite video sites, crank one out, then go play Zelda? I’ll grant that the porn part of the equation is more important, but without both parts present, there isn’t really much of a point.

Getting Started

The first thing you’ll have to do to start playing is to sign up. Don’t worry, it’s free, this won’t eat into your allowance. After a short loading screen, you’ll be asked to choose a class and a name. You’ve got the Saber, a big-titted blonde focusing on inflicting damage, the Assassin, a twink with a focus on subterfuge, and the Mage, a mysterious wizard with abs and ripped arms. Not wanting to spend the next several hours of my life staring at a man of any kind, I chose the Saber.

After creating your character you’re thrown right into the world of Gods of Hentai. Shockingly (or not at all), it seems the majority of players think exactly like I do, since for me the opening area contained about twelve Sabers and only a single Mage.

Walk around and follow the prompts and you’ll very quickly find yourself immersed in the action. I won’t spoil the plot too much, but know that it involves slaves, gods, heroes, war, sex, and betrayal—all of that good stuff that makes your favorite fantasy series like Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones amazing, except with tits. Wait, Game of Thrones has tits too. Hmm. Well, Gods of Hentai is interactive, it’s got that going for it I guess.

Playing With One Hand

The core gameplay in Gods of Hentai is both its biggest strength and its greatest weakness. The developers put a lot of complex systems of leveling, equipment, and inventory in the game so that you can tweak and maximize your character’s efficiency. That’s fantastic. It gives you something to do while you’re not staring at giant cartoon tits.

You accept tasks, kill bad guys, collect their loot, level up, earn rewards, then return to the hub. Rinse and repeat. As you grow more powerful, you can explore the game’s universe, meet new people, and find new things to do. It might seem repetitive, but it’s a tried and true gameplay loop that’s been in use. I would describe the game as equal parts Diablo, Final Fantasy, and tits.

The battles themselves are sort of like a strategy game—you organize your team and create a plan of attack, then the action itself follows automatically. On one hand, this allows you to focus on the swinging tits and asses, but on the other, it would be nice for a little more interactivity here.

Gods of Hentai eases you into new features carefully. It’s almost as if actual thought was put into the gamely, rather than it having just been slapped together to show off some porn! Though there is a lot to think of and take care of while playing Gods of Hentai, you’re taught it all at a reasonable place so that you never feel lost or overwhelmed.

Unfortunately, the whole isn’t quite as good as the sum of its parts. Keep playing and you’ll notice that things are a little bit too simple. Yeah, you can spend time making yourself as powerful as possible, but if the struggle you’re facing doesn’t require it, why bother? I didn’t spend much time or effort making things perfect, but I still found I was able to breeze through large portions of the game without difficulty. It can be fun to get all invested in the systems, but when a majority of the game is just clicking thoughtlessly the push to do that kind of disappears.

Maybe I’m just a unique talent, and you’ll struggle to survive for more than a second. That’s probably it, actually. You’ll love the difficulty, ignore what I said earlier.

The questing isn’t quite as good as it is in a game like Diablo, and the character customization isn’t quite what it should be in a really great roleplaying game. But hey, each of those parts of the gameplay are far better than the competition in this niche, and the art is fantastic. If you’re a fan of the hentai art-style, you’ll probably be too distracted by the eye-candy to care so much about any criticism of the game.

In any case, Gods of Hentai can be controlled with entirely with the mouse (aside from chatting, if you’re overcome by the desire to make friends with people even lonelier than you are). This one-handed control scheme is most likely not an accident, so don’t let the creativity of the developers of Gods of Hentai go to waste—find something to do with your free hand while you play.

Which brings me to the paragraph the desperate among you probably care about the most—yes, stop holding your breath, the porn is good. A lot of it is your standard hentai fetish fare, so if you’re into the genre Gods of Hentai will have plenty to offer you. It’s filled with demons and witches and sluts in varying states of undress being kidnapped and captured and violated. It’s basically an episode of hentai that you play.

So Close Yet So Far

There are a couple of really strange oversights in Gods of Hentai. If enemies and non-player-characters can have so many different character models, why are there only three choices for the player? It’s a bit odd seeing an entire world with a third of its population looking exactly like me. I’d say that this is unrealistic and immersion-breaking, but we’re not here to be sucked in—we’re here to feel like we’re being sucked off, and it sure would be easier to blow a load to Gods of Hentai if I wasn’t staring at the exact same person for half the time I’m playing. Thankfully, it seems that just about everyone else picked the hot character too, so at least we get something nice to look at instead of that thin assassin dude.

I also found that despite the effort that was put into the plot, it’s largely a placeholder. The entire game is on rails, meaning you’re not actually able to influence the plot or change how things end up. When I played, this led to me largely ignoring the plot in favor of the eye-candy surrounding it—nothing I was reading actually made a difference, and it wasn’t inherently rewarding, so why bother with it? I’m sure if you’re super interested in the themes of the game you might enjoy delving into its deep secrets, but for me the plot was basically just a placeholder that distracted me from the good stuff.

Battles themselves were a bit too simple for my taste, too. There is a lot that can go into preparation, and they’re certainly a treat for the senses, but the actual fight itself plays out on its own. I prefer my games to be games, as in interactive.

Don’t take these criticisms as a reason not to play Gods of Hentai, though. I’m being so harsh only because the game was so promising, only because it came so close to being a game that truly stands firm on its gameplay alone, without having to resort to cheap sex and nudity. Thankfully, having just barely failed to do so, the sex and nudity it offers bridges the gap.

The game comes close, which makes me wish that it was able to make that leap. That’s why I’m harsh. It’s like when your parents tell you that you’re disappointed not because you failed but because they know that you have so much potential, except I’m actually telling the truth. I’d prefer award-winning gameplay combined with top quality porn, but until that exists, Gods of Hentai is the next best thing.