The link between porn and video games is well known to every pervert, stoner, and basement-dwelling neckbeard the world over. These days, even the normals are starting to realize the two go together like peanut butter and jelly, like carrots and peas, like anal sex and alcohol. Games like 3DXChat are bringing virtual humping to the masses.
3DXChat.com offers the virtual world type of sex game experience. This is basically an MMORPG where the orc-slashing has been replaced by slut-smashing. Instead of leveling up your warrior with a new sword, you’ll customize your avatar with a giant dick. These guys are trying to do what Second Life always wanted to but never really achieved. Let’s see if newer is better in this case.
Getting It On with Naked CG Sluts
The landing page at 3DXChat.com claims it’s the Most Innovative 3D Sex Game of the Year. It doesn’t say what year, though, or who bestowed that honor upon them. If they slapped some laurel leaves around the brag it might make it a little more believable, but it just seems like the standard claim on any porn site. They’re all the best in the world if you ask them.
They registered the domain in 2011, but the site logo looks a little older. There are some CG broads who look like sexy versions of The Sims and a few buttons pointing to other parts of the site. All the elements on the page are built around what is clearly the centerpiece, the thing they really want you to see: the big video of Actual In-Game Footage. I click the Play button.
The graphics are good. They’re not next-gen console fantastic, but they’re a hell of a lot better than most of the amateur sex games out there. There’s enough realism that the bitches can look fuckable, and they’re apparently real people. SEX AND CHAT WITH REAL PEOPLE, the scroll screams at me in all caps. It isn’t quite English, but whatever.
Next, the video says we can FREELY WALK AROUND THE 3D WORLD. A shapely slut in a skimpy dress is walking into a virtual nightclub to illustrate the experience. A moment later she’s in a bikini, walking on a beach. That’s cool and everything, but open worlds are standard in any online 3D multiplayer game. I’m pretty sure you can see that amount of leg in World of Warcraft.
The video switches to a bar scene. FIND A PARTNER AND INVITE TO APARTMENT. Again, the text is like a retard grunting instructions at you, but at least it’s hinting at some adult activity. The cheeseball techno music continues unabated.
And then they hit you with the good stuff. HUNDREDS OF SEX ANIMATIONS are represented by a close-up of a woman’s cum-covered face as she slurps maniacally at a huge boner. Next a CG dude is fucking a CG broad from behind, and then we flash to an all-out beach orgy.
3DXChat wants you to know they’ve got STRAIGHT, GAY AND LESBIAN action. A shemale with huge tits and a giant dick rides a dude, a couple naked and shapely dykes fool around in a bed, and a dude hammers another dude up his gaping virtual asshole.
And with that, the video fully blows its load only a third of the way into it. The rest of the multimedia presentation talks about LIVE DJ PARTIES, LUXURY YACHTS, HOME CUSTOMIZATION and the ability to CREATE HIGHLY DETAILED CHARACTERS. It’s weird as hell that they’re hyping custom virtual bed frames as a bigger sell than cyber-fucking real people, but I’ve always been more of a pervert than a nerd or a soccer mom.
I’ll be honest: I don’t give the slightest flying fuck about building a fake house for some computer dolls. I stopped playing with Legos a long time ago, but I did just purchase a more grown-up toy with silicone orifices, a diesel engine, and 14 intensity levels of suction. With that bad boy strapped on, I clicked Play Now!
How Much Is Cybersex Worth to You?
I expected a download link under the Play Now button, but nah, it actually goes to a sign-up page that includes big prices listed smack-dab in the center of the page. The standard membership is about $20 USD a month, but it drops by half if you buy 6 months at a time. A full year is even cheaper.
There’s no free trial option, which is a huge fucking bummer. Just about every non-sexual online game offers a free trial, and even porno paysites let you look around a little. I’d be happy with a cheap trial, something like a buck for a day. Twenty bucks is kind of a big crapshoot.
That said, there are worse ways to spend your masturbatory budget. The average paysite runs about ten bucks more per month, and you don’t even want to know what I spent on that black market dick-sucking unit. One of the big advantages 3DXChat has over Xbox Live is that you won’t get kicked off for saying pervy shit and showing people your dick. In fact, that’s encouraged.
Choose Your Hat Color but Not Dick Size
3DXChat’s video really hypes up that endless customization, and they drop you into it first thing once you’ve downloaded the client. Creating a character is step numero uno.
You’ve all done this a million times in games like Skyrim. There’s a ludicrous amount of customization when it comes to gender, facial and body features, eye color and hair color, and all kinds of things to wear.
I was disappointed it didn’t go deeper than Fallout in one specific, important way. I wanted my virtual dude to have a twelve-inch monster to match my own. The game forced me to settle for a regular giant cock.
Real Cybersex in Virtual Reality
I keep joking about my diesel-powered fuck machine. While my device was developed by a disgraced NASA technician currently living in a Unabomber-style shack, the folks at 3DXChat are working with far more reputable toy makers. Their online sex game works with the Vstroker Fleshlight. It claims to be the world’s most advanced virtual sex system, and honestly might be.
While your dick is slamming into the Vstroker, transmitting your penis moves to the receiving female’s pussy, ass, or mouth, you can also live the action in virtual reality with the Oculus Rift CV1. Why jerk off to some bullshit on the screen when you can have the blowjobs transmitted directly into your eyeballs, am I right?
I like that 3DXChat is developing their VR platform, but I worry it might not exactly be ready for primetime. The big giveaway is that it only works with pretty high-end VR tech. The good news is that 3DXChat is in on the game early, learning the ropes, and hopefully has the resources to come up with something sexy as fuck. The 2D version certainly looks good.
The game’s polished look is easily one of its best selling points. There are a number of online virtual worlds that include sex, but most of them give off a rushed, half-assed vibe. 3DXChat is one of very few that looks like a real, professionally produced game. The character models are genuinely sexy enough to beat off to.
While I make fun of the ability to build an elaborate dollhouse in the game, spending hundreds of hours customizing the fake carpet and virtual couches, this is definitely a huge draw. Specifically, it’s the kind of thing that draws actual women as opposed to the all-male cretin demographic you imagine playing sex video games. They may not be flocking there yet, but this shit is just getting normal. Give it some time.
Cybersex used to be some tired bullshit involving typing one-handed messages to a fat guy claiming to be a beautiful woman. Now you can actually see that beautiful woman on the screen, making it easier to forget about the fat guy controlling her. We’ve truly come a long way. 3DXChat is not perfect, but it’s one of the better developed 3D virtual worlds for perverts. I expect this sexual playground to get better as the tech improves and more interest develops.
ThePornDude likes 3DXChat's
- Good graphics
- Lots of animated sex scenes
- Interact with other deviates
- Endless customization
- High-end virtual reality options
ThePornDude hates 3DXChat's
- Costs money to play
- No free trial
- Windows only
- Can’t choose dick size