PornHub

How do you introduce an old friend who everyone already knows? This site has gotten you through times easy and hard, but usually raging hard. It’s been there for you when you needed to beat off to something quick, easy, and free. Early in the morning, after work, on the toilet or on the clock, you’ve pulled up Pornhub.com more times than you’ve kissed your wife.

About 7.5 billion people live on this planet. Last month, Pornhub got about 3.4 billion visits. Think about those numbers for a second. If you pick a random person, there’s a good chance they jerked off to Pornhub this month. Since you’re the kind of pervert who reads ThePornDude, I know goddamn well you have.

A Brief History of Your Favorite Porn Tube

Usually, when I review porn sites, I skip the history lesson. If there’s any backstory, it’s usually just some unverifiable bullshit that could be made up. As you may have heard, Jimmy Smitts founded BallSackTube back in 1846, earning the congressional medal of honor. Right. One thing that separates Pornhub from the little guys is these giants have their own goddamn Wikipedia page.

Born May 25, 2007, the site had its humble beginnings as part of something called Interhub. Raise your hand if you’ve heard of that. I’m sure those Interhub suckers are kicking themselves to this day, because they sold Pornhub to MindGeek (then called Manwin) in 2010. The site and its logo have embedded itself in public consciousness so thoroughly that it’s hard to believe they’re barely older than a decade.

I Googled Interhub and it’s unclear whether the company still exists, but it’s not like anybody gives a fuck anyway. MindGeek, meanwhile, is pulling in hundreds of millions of dollars a year. Pornhub is now a piece of their Pornhub Network, which includes other free tubes like YouPorn and RedTube. They also run production companies like Brazzers and RealityKings, so you’ve definitely cum to their material.

The text in the search bar at the top of the page says you’re sifting through more than 7.5 million free videos. Lots of porn sites claim to offer a ludicrous number of clips, but this comes with another factoid I learned from the Wiki entry. Pornhub is the single largest porn site on the Internet, hosting more videos than anyone else.

The Free Porn Tube You Know and Love

Is Pornhub the original free porn tube? Honestly, I don’t know if it’s the OG. There may be others that came first. There may even be others with better features, but Pornhub is the one people think of when you say “Free Porn Tube.” You’ve seen the format imitated on almost every other free porn site, usually poorly.

Beneath a streamlined, all-text header is a wall of pornography. Video thumbnails line the page, showing all kinds of depravity. Right away, you’ll see girls getting their faces drenched with cum, other sluts practicing their cock-swallowing skills. Still, more girls take still more cock; group sex is practically the norm here.

Hover over an image for more stills from the clip. It looks like there’s going to be anal in that POV blonde clip, and that step-mom scene has multiple MILFs. Could they be aunties or cousins? There’s only one way to find out.

The front-page thumbnails are broken down into a few categories. There’s Hot Porn Videos In Your Country followed by the Most Viewed Videos. The Recently Featured XXX Videos show exactly that, and if you’ve visited the site before, Pornhub will even have a couple rows just for you.

I’ve noticed Pornhub tends to stay one step ahead of the ad-blockers. No matter what you’re using to keep that spam down, some of it’s going to slip through on this site. If you’re using an ad-blocker, you’ll get a little message at the top offering you a free week of Pornhub Premium.

I Always Feel Like Pornhub’s Watching Me

The front page is currently serving up a Recommended Category For You – Teen. The row of thumbnails shows a redhead with cum in her mouth, a young camwhore’s first pillow hump, and an amateur clip of a teen fucking herself with a brush. They’re right—I love this stuff! As with any of these front-page categories, there’s always the + More Videos button to dig a little deeper.

Even more specifically just for me, there’s a section titled Recommended For You. It’s like Pornhub read my mind. I really was just thinking about goth girl blowjobs, thick-bootied Latina threesomes, and taboo scenes with step-sisters who wear glasses and have pigtails.

There are Login and Sign Up links at the top of the screen, but I’ve never clicked them. Pornhub doesn’t have my email address and I don’t have an account. They know exactly what kind of porn I like, though.

It’s not really any kind of secret hacker mystery or anything. They’re spying on you, sure, but no more than any other site. Facebook and Google listen to all of your conversations, online and off, but I’m pretty sure Pornhub’s cookie just tracks what you’re watching on Pornhub. Don’t quote me on that, but it makes sense based on the spam. They’ve never tried to sell me anything but more porn.

If you’re regular-paranoid, put the bong down for a few minutes until the feeling passes. If you’re chemtrails-paranoid, just clear your cookies or use your browser’s secret porn mode, and don’t forget your daily injection of colloidal silver into your testicles.

Watching Facial Movies in Decent HD

I clicked on one of the Hottest Videos on the site, a high-class escort getting a first-class facial. It’s a 13-minute clip that opens with your typical porno interview, and what do you know? It turns out that escort is Christy Mack. While the tattooed slut was talking, I took some time to go over Pornhub’s built-in player.

Like the rest of the site, it’s sleek and seems simple. There are some hidden features, though. See those mountain ridges when you hover over the timeline? Those show the Hotspots, the parts of the video that people are watching over and over. There’s a peak near the end of this one coinciding with a hot, sticky cumshot all over her pretty face and tits.

I’m able to view the movie in 720p HD or in lower definition, but the 1080p option is locked. Trying to bump it to that level sends me to a sign-up page for PornhubPremium.

Likewise, there’s a locked Download button beneath the video. The clip is apparently available for purchase if I log in. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, though?

This video was actually uploaded by Mark Rockwell, the lucky stud who gets to fuck Christy’s face in this video. You can show love by clicking the Become a Fan button or Send Tip to really give something back. I’m always stuck giving the tip while these fuckers get to give the girls the full thing. It’s just not fair.

What’s So Bad About Free Porn?

The biggest complaints about Pornhub aren’t really specific to the site. They’re really general complaints about any of the free porn tubes.

Pornhub has spam. No matter what you do, you’re going to see some. That said, they’re definitely not one of the worst. Just keep your ad-blocker enabled and be prepared to lose your tab history from time to time.

The other issue you’ll find on any free tube is piracy. Pornhub was actually sued over it in 2010, way before the rest of these kids, and the suit was settled. The terms are confidential. I’m no lawyer, but everything seems well enough. Pornhub doesn’t have full categories of just straight-up piracy, which you’ll either like or you won’t.

Pornhub is the biggest and arguably the best free porn tube on the Internet. The spam experience is manageable, and a fair trade for the amount of free smut at your fingertips. Seriously, just go take a look and thank me later.