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Updated on 15 January 2022
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I love porn just as much as the next guy – actually, probably more than the next guy, seeing as I make a living watching it – but that doesn’t mean that it never gets old. You can only sit in your bedroom alone for so many days in a row, beating your meat raw and fantasizing about fucking porn stars before you need something more, something real. Sure, there are variations of porn that are more realistic than others … virtual reality porn, for example, when done right, can come close to tricking the dick into thinking it’s actually getting fucked … but, let’s face it: nothing comes even remotely close to competing with the real thing.

The warmth of a wet pussy. The feeling of a body underneath yours, of skin against skin, the sound of moans in your ear, moans that you’re actually somehow inspiring with your sorry excuse for a dick … these are all things that are notably missing from porn. Furthermore, these are all things that porn will never be able to come close to emulating. Not even once sex robots are widely available for mass consumption. I just can’t imagine that a robot pussy will be anywhere near as good as a dripping wet, tight, real human fuck hole. Even if it was, though, that’s not helping you now. Sex robots are still years away from being available on a large scale around the world.

You have to make sure that you don’t go too long without real sex. There’s no substitute for reality, and you shouldn’t settle for porn for too many consecutive days in a row. That shit’s just not healthy. Not to mention sad. Porn was never meant to be a replacement for sex. It was invented to help us get through the inevitable dry spells that we all go through from time to time. AKA it was meant to be a temporary relief from a lack of pussy, not a permanent way to make pussy obsolete. There are real people out in the world really fucking. Are you going to be one of them, or nah? The decision is yours to make.

Getting Laid can be Hard Work

But it’s not always that easy. I’ll be the first to admit. Getting your dick wet takes time and energy – time and energy that you don’t always have to expel. Plus, especially if you’re getting older, the club and bar scene can be a big fucking hassle. Try taking home a 21-year-old horny college slut when you’re pushing 50 and have the hairline to prove it. It’s not like it used to be. Besides, even if you do find a girl who is interested in talking to you, you will still have to spend your night buying her drinks, chatting her up, and probably dancing with her or some shit if you expect to have any shot at taking her home at the end of the night.

And even then, it’s a gamble. She could just as easily accept all the drinks you offer to buy her, spend a little while with you, and still decide to go home with her girls. Or, even worse, some douchenozzle that’s actually her age can always swoop in at the last minute and reap the benefits of all your hard work. Fucking pussy vultures, man. They exist. They strike most frequently at around 2:00 AM. Cocksuckers.

But I digress. My point is this: no matter how you go about getting pussy it’s going to take one of three things (but realistically probably all of the above): time, energy, and money. Even if you don’t meet a girl out at the bar, the alternative these days is, what, you match with her on Tinder. But we all know (talking from experience) that it isn’t effective to just message a chick, ‘hey, you’re hot, wanna fuck?’ Sure, one out of every 100 Tinder sluts will be loose or drunk enough to just go for it, but you have to burn so many bridges in the process … bridges that, if you had a little more finesse, maybe could have potentially led to pussy in the future. Otherwise, the old charade lives on, even in today’s online dating world. You’ll have to take her out, maybe more than once, buy her food, drinks, maybe take her to a movie, whatever … all in hopes that she’ll open her legs at the end of the night.

Fuck the Hunt, Cut Straight to the Chase

Fuck that shit. You’re a busy dude … you work, you have responsibilities. Why not just cut out the middleman altogether? Get straight to the fucking point? The fucking point of fucking! There is zero shame in ordering an escort, is what I’m getting at. Pussy costs money. Or time. And time is money, so, money. Save yourself the time and just spend the money on what you’re ultimately going to be spending the money on anyway: the pussy!

There are plenty of websites out there to help you out, too, particularly if you’re a novice at the whole ordering pussy in thing. One of those sites, the one we will be taking a look at today, is Adult Search. In fact, Adult Search allows you to browse for more than just hired pussy. Here, you will also be able to find sensual body rubs (happy ending often included), strip clubs, sex shops, and gay bathhouses. Plus, there are city-specific forums for you to check out, allowing you to discuss escorts and establishments with other locals … get the inside scoop before you order or visit.

What I love about this site is that it doesn’t try to be too niche. A lot of sites like this will provide only escorts or only body rub providers. Adult Search keeps it nice and general, though, allowing you to find everything you could ever need in the area of adult services in your city, all in one convenient location. Plus, the site is designed well, providing a great sense of organization. They don’t try to cram too much information onto a page (like other similar sites often do), and it is easy to use and intuitive to navigate. For an index site, this is crucial, and there are plenty of escort ad index sites that could really take a note or two from Adult Search, that’s for sure.

Hit or Miss by City

That being said, I was not overly impressed by the number of posts in my city. However, I understand that the number will obviously vary quite a bit, depending on what city you’re in. This is dependent upon the size of the city, the culture, but also just how many people know about / fuck with this site in particular. I don’t live in NYC or anything, but I live in a fairly large metropolitan area. However, Adult Search only had about 15 female escorts for me to choose from. Compared to the hundreds of ads that I’ve been able to find on other sites. So, maybe Adult Search just doesn’t have as much reach as they could. Or maybe, for whatever reason, people in my city just don’t use this site as much as other cities might. I can’t say, you’ll have to visit and try your city out for yourself.

Most of the escorts that were featured, though, did offer up a good number of photos, as well as all of the information I could need. There also weren’t any ads that I saw that struck me as being fake or catfishy. Every girl was real, as far as I could tell, which was refreshing because police are always using these sorts of sites for sting operations where I’m from, and I’m not trying to end up in cuffs for no muffs. All you have to do is click onto a girl’s profile and check out her stats, bio, pics, prices, and phone number … all free of charge and without any registration required.

All in all, Adult Search could be your one stop shop for all things sex. If they could only figure out how to expand just a little bit. It is tricky terrain, though, to try and advertise yourself as a place for escorts to post their info to, it’s hard to gain trust and recognition, when sex for money is still illegal in many places, at least in the US. Outside of America, though, in countries where it is legal, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of options to choose from on this site.

Adult Search is well-designed, well-organized, easy to use, full of real escorts, shops, and bathhouses, and even offers a thriving community of local message boards to discuss goods, services, and businesses. It’s almost everything you could want in a site like this. Almost.

ThePornDude likes AdultSearch's

  • Organized layout
  • Intuitive site design
  • Community features (city message boards)
  • Lots of info provided

ThePornDude hates AdultSearch's

  • Could have more posts
  • Hit or miss depending on locale