There’s just something majestic about a big ass round ass butthole, two feet from the camera, spread across your 28-inch 4k monitor to really remind you you’ve made it in life. My friends told me I should spring for a 70-inch TV instead of a monitor, but I’m a very hands-on kind of guy. – So I appreciated Holed.Com’s anal selection on my computer, and boy was I in for a treat.
They got bitches and they got whores, having their assholes pounded and ridden in every position known to man. These girls come in all shapes and sizes, but mostly skinny, super attractive and slutty as all hell. The videos are all exclusively anal rampages, because that’s what God intended when he made the female posterior.
You’re looking at a very classical website here. There are no comments, no community, no fuss. – Just an endless stream of hardcore anal destruction. Currently, they’ve got a little over a hundred videos, all in glorious 4k, and over half an hour in length. Even I, the king of libido, haven’t quite managed to actually watch one of them to the end.
But let’s be honest here, we all fast forward to the end of the video for the anal creampie money shot anyways.
Milk Milk, Lemonade, Around the Corner, Creampies Get Made
Holed.Com produce high-quality videos under a very simple creed – The Ass’s Creed that is. They got big ass hombres plowing young and nubile looking girls during extremely long lays. And these guys are all expertly equipped. Not a chode in sight – Holed hires only the maddest of cocksmiths to handle their girls.
This means that if you’re looking for a website that is pushing the absolute limits of what the female asshole can take, well, you found it. Think of it as a scientific experiment. Penis length times girth, divided by the chick’s daddy issues, to the power of her student loans. But don’t feel bad, because these girls are definitely not amateurs. For the most part, if they’re not moaning in pleasure, they’re smiling at the camera while their rectums are getting absolutely decimated. Prolapse is a strong word, but it’s always just right around the corner in these vids.
The videos all wrap up with an appropriately huge creampie – very deep, very big. If they scooped up all the ooze after they’re done, they could definitely fill a pool and throw a party.
The Tight Round Asses and the Girls Attached to Them
The girls are very diverse, to say the least. Even though their names are all pulled out of the stereotypical stripper name database – you got your Vixens, Vis, Viennas and Jades – their faces are anything but generic.
I mean you’ve got Nordic bitches, middle-eastern bitches, Americans, Europeans, hell there might even be an Aussie that slipped in while no-one was looking. I kinda wish there were more black women on the site, so I could get my ebony on, but hey, anal is anal – I’m not complaining.
Now if I had to rate the chicks on here, I’d say that most of them are real 9s, for pornstars at least. There are even some A-Listers on here like Adriana Chechik and Lana Rhoades, so you know Holed aren’t fucking around.
The girls are also very talented, and by talented I mean they look damn enthused to be plowed for hours on end by gigantic man meats. They’re always smiling. No rape and abuse fantasies here. These girls all look like they’ve just won the lottery, the prize is deep in their colon, and these dudes are just helping them fetch it.
I warmly recommend the videos that have at least 2 girls in them, because on top of the rough anal rides, you’ve also got a lot of pussy eating from the girl on the sidelines, and once in a while the dude will park his dick in her mouth for a quick pit-stop before shoving it back into her friend’s asshole.
There’s a lot of ass to mouth is what I’m saying. I suspect these girls are so starved from their pornstar diets that the protein they get from the ass ooze and the cock they suck is the only food they’re allowed to have that day. On top of that, when the girls get a second to themselves, they make out, with their faces and mouths covered in ass and dick grool. And if they have a free hand, hell, they shove it up their own asses, because god forbid those holes start to close up.
It’s 4k porn filmed with a top-notch camera. What more could you want? It’s also important to give the cameraman props for carefully avoiding the dude’s face as much as humanly possible, in every shot. The cameraman knows what we come for, and it’s certainly not man-face. The actual resolution of the videos is mind-blowing. Now I’m no stranger to 4k porn, hell, I’ve jacked it in VR, I know quality when I see it. Holed really caught me by surprise when I realized I could count the exact number of ingrown hairs on the pornstars’ asses. I could also very clearly see the dude’s circumcision scar, well enough to feel bad for him. So if you’re wondering whether you could see the bubbles of air inside the cum as it’s oozing out of Lana Rhoades’s asshole, yes, yes you can.
The resolution also makes it really easy to see the exact points in the videos where the actress’s parents’ hopes and respects for their daughter die out, right at the point of insertion, deep within her eyes. – What can I say, I’m a romantic.
The Website’s Interface
There’s nothing to it. I haven’t seen a website this lean since search engines in the 90s. There’s a logo, there’s a search bar, and the other 95% of the screen is covered in cum-drenched sluts and gaping assholes. Truly it is heaven.
You can search for your favorite sluts by name, see what other scenes they’ve done for Holed, and even check them out across the site’s partner network, in case you’d like to see them actually having vaginal sex – you know, if you’re one of those guys. Personally, I don’t see the point.
I really like that once you open up a video, it plays in standard quality on the site, but if you want, you can open up the video file directly, in any quality, say 4k, and it will open up directly. From that point on, it’s pretty much yours to keep. You can watch it in your browser, or right-click download that bad boy to your computer. Your choice. Holed doesn’t really care what you do with the video once you’ve signed up, they’re all yours to keep and jack off to until you die – preferably of coming too much.
Again, nothing too complicated. A monthly membership will ring you about $10 a month, if you sign up for a whole year, which is pretty standard these days. You might think 100 or so videos are not worth a yearly subscription, but keep in mind that these sluts are working their assholes hard every day to bring you new, sluttier content.
You can also browse the entire collection without signing up to get a very decent taste of what’s inside, with pretty long samples that don’t skimp out on the smut. If you’re a one pump chump you might even be able to rub one out to the samples alone, but that’s some pussy ass shit – Just buy the damn subscription if you’re going to jack it on Holed.
Do you have any idea how much money these girls spend on diets? You wouldn’t want them to start eating again, would you? Don’t be a queer, be a dear, sign the fuck up and jack it till you’re in the ground.
Holed is a very tight very lubed up place where you can get high-quality anal clips at a bargain, with hot bitches and extreme quality. There’s nothing more to it. So the next time you find yourself with some extra pocket money, treat yourself.
ThePornDude likes Holed's
- The bitches are hot. There’s no two ways around it. They’re not all gonna win Ms. Alabama, but I’d give them all a whack if they were in my zip code.
- The quality. I don’t wanna sound like a nerd, but when you can zoom the fuck into a video and see a girl’s hopes and dreams crushed deep inside her asshole, you know you’re watching a quality production.
- Gives 4k screens a purpose. It’s 2019 and 4k screens are still mostly useless for gaming. Might as well prop up a high quality anal prolapse on there and jack it to your heart’s content
- (Almost) No ads.
ThePornDude hates Holed's
- The amount of bitches. I mean sure 100 or so women are nice, but you know what’s even better? 200 women. And you know what’s even better than that? 300 women. You see where I’m going with this.
- Too many solo scenes. I like anal orgies. Sue me.
- No girls-only videos for the uber-straight viewer.
- Barely enough bandwidth for a 4k stream, so you can’t skip around a video. Gotta sit still and watch.