Hands up whoever went looking for a good piece of porn to bust your nut to, but you also kinda wanted it to have a little humor in it too? Does that sound like a site you might want to take a look at, cock in hand? Because that’s what we’re having a look at today here on lilhumpers.com. Someone took it upon themselves to take all that fake fucking acting we see in regular porn and amp that shit up to eleven and make a website out of it. It could be great, or it could be the worst kind of boner killing bullshit we’ve ever seen but kick back and grab some tissues while we go over what you can expect from this new kind of weird porn.
Fork It Over
So, to start things off, even if you haven’t decided on how you feel about this kind of porn, if you want to experience it here on lilhumpers.com, you’re going to have to fork out some money. Nothing says possible quality like a monthly fucking bill, am I right? The point is, this site isn’t going to be free, so it’s a good thing you’re here, or else you might be wasting your money on some cheap ass shitty porn. Even if you’re somehow too good to read this review, fuck you if that’s the case, there’s at least more than one option when it comes to paying. Just want to check it out for a couple of days? It’s a dollar a day. For a month, it’s twenty-nine ninety-nine. Three months is nineteen ninety-nine a month, so sixty bucks altogether. And if you’re paying for a whole year at once, it’s eight thirty-three a month for a total of ninety-nine.
Are you a fan of premium “give us your money” pay porn sites? Of course, you fucking aren’t, and I don’t blame you, but sometimes you can forgive them if the shit they actually have is worth your time and money. It’s not usually, because the chances are really good that whatever the fuck wets your whistle is definitely out there to find on a free site. But for argument’s sake, let’s say you bit the bullet and put some cash down to get access to this one. Well, the first thing you’ll see every time you log in is yet another page that offers you more shit to pay for. Yeah sure, it might be worth it too, but you came here for the shit that’s already on this site, you just paid for it and the first thing you see every time you sign in to your paid account is another page asking for your money for more porn. I don’t know about you, but to me, that’s a bad fucking look.
Bright & Eye Burning
So now we get onto the website proper, what you’re gonna see when you actually get past all the bullshit after logging into your account. It’s white and bright, completely eye-burning, no matter what your situation or your time of day. We all know that when it’s private happy time, the lights are off and the doors are closed. Just because we’re all evolved enough to be okay with porn and all the glorious prostate cancer prevention methods it inspires, doesn’t mean the rest of the world is so when we’re visiting these kinds of sites we want to keep that shit private. So when a porn website has a darker theme, that doesn’t burn our eyes at night or shines under the door for people to see it’s just fucking tops. But not here.
If you were pissed off about the fact that you have to pay money for this site, don’t bother even looking at all the buttons at the top of every page. It’s a little dark brown bar with drop-down menus for you to look through and don’t you fucking doubt for a second that they are worth your time because none of the content you’ll find on the other side of those buttons is the stuff you paid for when you put money down for this site. So unless you’ve already looked through all of lilhumpers first and didn’t find anything that you liked, don’t worry about that bar at the top. Unless, of course, you have more money to spend then all the fucking power to you.
So it’s white, and the home page has a bunch of squares for all the different videos on lilhumpers, and the top section of them shows off the latest ones. Not exactly an original concept, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fucking fix it. So the top section is for the latest videos, the next one down is for the “Milfs Like It Big” section, next one down is “Moms In Control,” then it’s “Mommy Got Boobs,” and the last one is the section for the “Recommended Scenes.” The videos in this site have got their own theme, and as I’m writing this, I’m pretty sure it has something to do with being a knockoff of that old movie “The Lil Rascals.”
Each of the videos have their own weird “funny” titles that make me think they’re not trying their hardest to get our dicks the hardest. It seems like a lot of the content they’re hosting just fucking plays up the bad acting that there already is in porn and tries to run with it. Don’t get me wrong here, there’s still plenty of fucking going on, and it’s no-nonsense about any of that shit. It just comes across as more goofy than sexy, and if that’s gonna work for you great, but I’ve been in the game long enough to know that probably isn’t gonna be the case.
As for the actual porn quality? Like I said before, it seems like they’re trying to make a lot of these “scenes” play out kind of like that old movie did. The kids in that movie were definitely underage, so even though it’s fucking obvious, that’s not what I’m talking about here if you’ve ever seen it, you’d know that’s the kind of vibe all the porn on this site gives off. The guys are all young, looking and acting like horny dogs going around humping anything that has tits and pussy. And the women? Look, I know we’ve all got our tastes, and I’m not about to shame yours in a review, but you can expect a lot of fake tits and bad acting, so if this is gonna get the job for you, who am I to say anything? Just take a look at the names of the scenes if you want a better idea of what they’re all about.
At the top left, there are the three horizontal lines by the lilhumpers logo that you can click to open up the menu and navigate all around the website right from there. At least they were thinking of us when it came to this part; you can access your favorites here if you have any, your history, and the videos you marked to “watch later” in case you got done wanking, and there was still a video you wanted to see. It’s basically like fucking youtube or any triple-A porn site out there, so I have to give them props for that. At the top right, they even included a little search bar to use in case you were having a hard time finding an old video.
End of the day, the design of the website and the features on it are quality. They did a really fucking bang-up job with how they put it together, and it shows. But that doesn’t mean it’s worth the cash because, at the end of the day, you’re not here for how fancy the website is. We’re all here for the fucking content, and usually, I’m looking for that good stuff where the bitches are fine as hell, and the guy’s don’t have faces because the last thing I want to see right as I’m about to bust a nut is the dude busting his own nut. Don’t write it off right away though, it takes a very particular kind of perve to enjoy this kind of porn, and I know that they’re out there somewhere. They might even be reading this review before they head on over to the site to see what all the fuss is about. Do yourself a favor and check it out yourself, it’s only a dollar a day, and you never know what might get your dick hard.
ThePornDude likes LilHumpers's
- Website Quality, Top Tier
ThePornDude hates LilHumpers's
- The Bright Theme
- Purposely Bad Acting
- Payment model