Porno Carioca

Some people think of me as just some creep in a basement, frantically tenderizing my meat as I stare at a computer screen. That’s just not fair. I’m a man of the world, always learning new and interesting things through my research into the pornographic arts. Today I discovered that ‘carioca’ means ‘from Rio’. As in, PornoCarioca is porno from Rio.

With the exception of true Latina fanatics, most of you gringos have never heard of or shaken your penis at this free tube. They’ve been around since 2012, but people can get a little pissy about having to press one for Spanish. Just hit the Translate button on your browser like I did, or browse by thumbnails. It’s a smut website, not brain surgery. They wouldn’t be getting 20 million visits a month if they made this difficult.

Tall and Tan and Young and Slutty

PornoCarioca.com has an unfamiliar name to English speakers, but the layout and format will be familiar to perverts all around the world. Unless you just crawled out of the basement where you’ve been held captive as a sex slave for a couple of decades, you are already familiar with how a free sex tube looks and how it works. Throw it through a Brazilian filter and boom! Porno Carioca.

It’s not unusual for adult websites to have cartoon mascots up by the logo, but it’s usually some slutty gal with a lot of cleavage showing or her huge tits fully exposed. Apparently, that’s not how they do things in Brazil. PornoCarioca’s mascot is a smooth-looking dude in a white suit and red tie with a matching hat and shoes. He looks like he’d sell you a hooker, then pick your pocket and fuck your wife, and then you’d pay him for the privilege, you sorry son of a bitch.

Good thing he’s not selling hookers. He’s actually giving out free sex movies, laid out as a wall of smut directly beneath his feet. My God, what a beautiful sight to behold! Better grab the Tums, because this whole joint is chock-full of spicy hot Latin broads.

The Girl from Ipanema Goes Fucking

Like any tube site, this wall is built of bricks of vaginal penetration, oral stimulation, and anal violation. There are teenage newbies and experienced MILFs, and one naked pregnant broad eats a lot of protein to make sure her baby gets enough nutrition. There’s pool sex and cuckolding, hand jobs and stripteases. If that’s too vanilla for you, there is a video of a dude sticking his foot up his wife’s ass.

I know what you’re thinking and you’re dead wrong. Wifey has a killer ass, and a stunning body in general. This can only mean one thing: the dude has a fucking ton of money. Try that with your old lady and see how far you get. The dude in this clip browses my Premium Latina list for sure. You wouldn’t be surfing the free tubes if women held their asses up to you in anticipation of the ol’ shit-kicker.

Some of the scenes on PornoCarioca are obviously shot in a studio with professional whores, but the vast majority seem to be amateur flicks. I mean, shit, when was the last time you saw Jade Kush take a toe through the sphincter? That’s something a man and a woman who love each other very much do behind the privacy of closed doors, preferably with a camera so they can share it with the rest of us freaks.

I’m certainly not about to knock high-budget porn scenes, but homebrew smut has a certain magic to it that is impossible to fake. The chicks in these scenes aren’t in it for the money. They’re in it because they want to get off just as badly as you do. A lot of women on amateur sites are genuine exhibitionists, which means it makes their pussy even wetter just knowing you were watching. What kind of monster could refuse?

One thing that unites all of the three-way copulations, lesbian love affairs and kinky fetish movies is the beautiful golden skin tones on all the flesh on display here. The babes come in all shapes and sizes, but in typical Latina fashion you’ll find bouncing bubble butts and juicy thighs in abundance. Brazilian women are truly exotic goddesses, and they really bring it all here. Even the amateurs are as beautiful as porn stars, and so talented when it comes to sex.

Each One She Passes Goes Ahh Goddamn!

The thumbnails on the front page of PornoCarioca are all stamped with the length of the scene. If you spend a lot of time jerking off to DIY sex flicks, you already know what bad news is coming here. These videos tend to run pretty fucking short.

I watched a couple in a dirty bedroom do it doggy style, the girl’s squeals coming through loud and clear over the Portuguese newscast. There is dirty laundry on the floor, but the dirty laundry they posted on the Internet clocks in at just under a minute long. It’s kind of hard to whack off to since it’s so short, but you can’t really complain. I don’t see you sharing homemade fuck movies.

Another new video shows a twat getting hammered up close and personal for a whole minute and a half. A bleach blonde rides a dick for two minutes and a luscious brunette twerks for a cool 45 seconds. I love this video of the girl sticking a banana in her vajayjay, but it would really be a lot more useful to me if it was at least 30 seconds long.

The site could really be improved with some minor tweaks. A Repeat button would be a nice start, or the ability to create playlists. Hands-free viewing is fucking vital when it comes to porno! It would also be easier if there was some way to filter by length, which is a pretty standard feature on most tubes. Come on, PornoCarioca, get with the times.

Beautiful, Buxom Brazillian Babes and Bitches Bare It All, Bro

I scroll down the front page, looking through the newest stuff to find something long enough to do the job. A thumbnail of a redhaired teen who looks like an Instagram model caught my eye. I’ve been fluffing the old boy while I was searching, and the nine-minute run time should be all I need to paint the bottom of my desk.

PornoCarioca has an extremely basic video player. You can go full-screen and adjust the volume, but that’s literally it. You can’t change the video resolution or the playback speed, and there’s no Download button. Tough shit if you were looking to build your own personal stash. The site doesn’t have any kind of registration, free or otherwise, so you can’t even Favorite the video to a personal list for later stroking.

One thing I do really like is that a lot of the videos come with a small photo section at the bottom. Now I’m even more convinced this little whore with the red hair is an Instagram model, but she really put shame to any of that tame, tired bullshit you see from a Kardashian.

Jerk Off to Pics, If That’s Your Thing

Weirdly, the photo sections beneath the videos don’t seem to lead to any bigger galleries of the girls. PornoCarioca has a much more impressive Photos collection than most other free tubes. That’s just another advantage of the amateur porn culture you’ll find here.

The photo galleries are displayed newest first, but there’s no way to sort them further. Click a girl and see more of her—that’s it. PornoCarioca is a little bit lacking when it comes to advanced search features in general. I’d complain harder, but I’ve only got one hand free to type. You’ve got to see this gallery of a thick-bottomed housewife bending over in public all around town.

Despite the relatively short videos and the overall lackluster organization, this is a really great free porn tube. PornoCarioca’s greatest strength is that it is just overflowing with amateur Brazilian porn that you will not find anywhere else. Any fan of Latina sex movies, and every pervert in general, is going to go absolutely wild for the depravity on every page of the site. Crank up the bossa nova and crank out a few loads.