Feeling nostalgic? I know some of you fucks probably miss your dusty collection of old VHS and DVD porn movies that you used to horde in a cardboard box beneath your bed like some kind of sleazy dragon. You’re probably the kind of asshole who raves about records “just sounding better” even though it sounds like you threw an MP3 player behind a campfire and hit play. But I get it when it comes to old porn. It reminds me of trying to tune into that one TV channel as a teenager where you’d get glimpses of porn and sexy moans between the unrelenting static.
Despite having full access to 4k UHD porn videos that support your automated jerk off machine and headset, it’s still good to get back to your roots. It’s like going out on a camping trip and leaving your phones and shit in the tent. Got to keep yourself grounded. But finding old porn can be a bitch. Sure, plenty of sites have “vintage porn” but the quality is always worse than it was when it came out the first time.
Fuck Yourself to the Hottest Porn From the 60’s all the way to the Mid 90s
That is not the case over at Theclassicporn.com. This site is dedicated to sharing and preserving all the classic porn movies in their original quality from the ’60s to the ’90s. But, like all good things in life, this site is going to cost you some cash. Unfortunately, the prices have been adjusted for inflation. Depending on what payment service you use you’ll be paying anywhere between 8 and 30 bucks a month.
Check out Free Previews Before Dishing out the Cash for a Membership
If you’re on the fence, you can check out free previews of any of the videos for free. These clips range from 1-10 minutes depending on the movie, so you can definitely jerk off to these as is. If you really feel like diving in dick first then grab a full day membership for a buck. For a site with a fairly narrow niche, they sure do bring in your horny fucks by the truckload. Right around 1.5 million of you make your way to the site every month, and these guys have been around since the cusp of 2007.
I was surprised to see that the site actually looks pretty damn nice. Some sites with this sort of classic content seem to feel like they need to look like the shitty sites from back in the day. Nobody wants that. The site is a bit bright, but the dark header up top and dark background during videos makes up for it a little bit. The header is short and simple. You have options for “DVD/Films, Pornstars, and Categories.” That’s it. No unnecessary bullshit.
Easy to Use Site with a Modern Design
Over to the left, you can filter out by pornstars or categories using a quick access list. Over on that sidebar, you can also find links to porn by year/decade, a list of the current top films, and a selection of the hottest pornstars on the site. The rest of the homepage is broken up into different sections for today’s popular movies, latest added, and the top-rated of all time.
There’s also this banner up top that they use to brag about all of their site stats to try and get you hooked on a membership. There are over 8000 hot movies, again over 8000 pornstars, and nearly 12 thousand pictures to fap your brains out to.
Plenty of Hot Categories and Kinky Pornstats
The categories list has a full set of hot fetish options like “cum swap, anal, DP, lesbian, and squirt.” Nothing that’s going to make you lose your lunch here. It’s all pretty standard shit. Each section has a hot preview image with a number for how many videos are in it. You can sort everything alphabetically or by the number of videos.
The pornstar page is set up differently than most of the other ones I’ve seen. You still get a sexy body shot of the babe, but you also get some of her bio information right off the bat. You can browse when and where she was born, what her active porn years were, how many slutty films she’s been in, and how many total views/likes she’s gotten. Click on her name to get a full bio, list of films she’s performed in, photos, and a selection of related babes.
In Depth Search Options Help You Find Any Video from Your Past
The films page is where you’ll want to be. You can check out up and coming fuck flicks, or browse through the massive catalog of full-length movies. And the sorting options are pretty comprehensive. You can narrow it down by the first letter, the country it was made in, language spoken, release year, category, and much more. Even if you barely remember the title you should be able to find that hot video you busted nut after nut to back in the day.
Each movie has a preview of the front cover along with 8 or so preview images from kinky points in the film. You can read a short description, see how long the movie is, who acted/directed it, and all of that good shit. It’s got everything a good porn preview needs to get you hard and aching for more.
You should know that you’re not going to get HD videos. It’s just not going to fucking happen. But I will say that you are getting these movies in the quality they were released, which isn’t half bad. Grainy at times, but that’s half the fun of these old movies. You get a decently large video player. No buffering or any bullshit like that. You can skip to certain scenes, download the video, and rate it however you want. Keep in mind you’ll need to go premium to download or stream the entire video, but it is definitely worth it.
Great Mobile Site
The mobile site kicks ass. I actually prefer the mobile design for this one. It looks sleeker and I like the way the previews take up the entire screen. You can scroll through all of them without issue. The same menu options are, as usual, available and slung under some drop down menus up top. You can still log in and download any of your favorite classic videos for later fapping. Since these videos are old they won’t take up that much space! So download as many as you fucking can.
ThePornDude’s Favorite Features
Being able to access classic porn movies that I hadn’t thought about in years was fucking awesome. They have so many videos on here. That 8000 number is way out of date or something because they have well over 13k at this point. Talk about a selection! This place is like a museum for old porn for you to jerk your dick to. Yeah, yeah, some of you cucks probably grew up with HD porn you lucky bastards. But if you’re looking for a good nostalgia fap, then this is the site for you.
The site looks great, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved. Darken some of the pages up for one thing. I also found the option to toggle to “pornstars” in the categories section confusing. Some of the options changed, but I didn’t fucking get it. All of the porn has pornstars in it. It’s not like it changed to racial or body type options. Shit like “facials” was still on the table. I just don’t know what that was supposed to do.
The ads were a little annoying for free users. Usually premium sites don’t have any ads, but this one has them when you preview content. I mean, I guess I get it. But it was still weird to see a few redirects and pre-roll ads crop up every now and then.
ThePornDude’s Final Thoughts
Overall, Theclassicporn.com is a site for you older degenerates out there that want a blast from the past. Some of these past pornstars had legacies than no babe right now could even begin to compete with. Going back through their catalog of work is reason enough to get signed up for this amazing site. It’s well put together, has a ton of content, and a fairly reasonable price for the kinky shit you get. Get on with it. Whip your dick out and get fapping to the sexy movies over at Theclassicporn.com.
ThePornDude likes TheClassicPorn's
- Thousands of Full Length Classic Porn Movies
- Lots of Free Browsing Options
- Plenty of Filter Options
- Porn Dating Back to 1960!
ThePornDude hates TheClassicPorn's
- You Have to Pay for it