Last night, I had an LSD freakout in the middle of banging a broad. Her eyes suddenly looked shiny and huge, her skin took on a smooth cartoonish perfection, and all of this little White girl’s moans and squeals sounded like they were in Japanese. I came technicolor buckets, and when the psychedelics wore off I had a newfound appreciation for hentai. This morning I loaded up HentaiPros to see if they had anything as hot as my drug-induced anime date.
HentaiPros.com is a fairly recent site, only hitting the web in late 2014. That hasn’t stopped them from becoming one of the biggest premium adult anime sites out there, with around 3 million monthly visitors. That’s a lot of neckbeards, which I hope means the site has a lot of naughty schoolgirls, horny princesses, and nymphomaniac warrior sluts.
Show Me Your Uncensored Anime Vajayjay
The landing page has a clean white layout covered in well-endowed manga whores in different stages of undress. Some banners slide across the top of the screen, advertising a few of their more popular and more recent cartoons. Victoria Maid Service features a French maid with a nice round ass aimed at the viewer, and the chick in Menkui has her legs up in the air to give her dude better access. Friends Forever 1 shows a couple of topless lesbians groping each other.
Wait a minute. One Friend Forever has her butt up with the other friend’s face buried in it, and that appears to be an uncensored anime cock in her hand. If you’re a regular hentai viewer, you know why this is such a big deal. Most of the smut coming out of The Land of the Rising Sun, animated or not, is censored with pixels covering up all the cunt, cocks, and penetrated buttholes. (Underpenetrated anuses are still okay. Japanese censorship laws have absolutely no rhyme or reason.)
That unobscured wiener at the top ain’t a fluke. The next item on the page is a couple of rows of HentaiPros’s Latest Uncensored Hentai Videos. I see an incestuous stepmother giving a blowjob, a stepsister taking a shaft from behind, and an innocent-looking schoolgirl squirting so much juice from her pussy it’s like a fountain.
Unfortunately, I also see a little red-haired slut taking what looks like a bunch of Tetris blocks to her flesh brick wall of a cooter. Another broad licks a shimmering tower of censored pixels that were probably originally drawn as a penis. This is in the Uncensored Hentai area, so the content is clearly hit or miss. I’d expected as much, but it would have been nice if they’d divided the content into two big piles. Sometimes you just really need to see a twat getting filled.
Want More? How About Some?
The previews are a fucking tease. All of the Play buttons lead to the sign-up page, with no real free previews anywhere. Banners ask if I want more, but dammit, I just want some! Give me a taste first!
HentaiPros is 30 USD a month, just like most premium adult sites. The rate goes down with longer memberships, or you can poke around for two days for just a buck. Make sure you cancel the trial before those days are up, otherwise you get rebilled at an inflated rate for all those animated facials, footjobs and face fucks.
I got logged in and the page looks pretty much like it did before, with the same previews of anime blowjobs and lesbian cunnilingus. The main new thing I see is a box hovering over the bottom of the screen, offering to UNLOCK DOWNLOADING so I can START DOWNLOADING. It’s an extra 15 USD a month to save clips, though, so don’t blow your whole allowance on another manga fairy body pillow.
Cartoon Schoolgirls Filled in Every Hole
HentaiPros adds a new full-length episode of hentai perversion every week. The thumbnails are animated when you hover your mouse over them, which is a good way to tell whether or not you’re actually going to get uncensored anime fucking this week.
I took a look at the newest movie, Friends Forever 1. The clip opens with some schoolgirls talking to a businessman, but I don’t speak Japanese so I don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s probably some pervy shit, because a few seconds later we are watching a chick bent over a shopping cart taking a veiny cartoon dick in her vag.
You’d think that moans and squeals sound the same in any language, but Japanese babes have a particularly girlish, sexy tone when they’re overwhelmed by orgasmic pleasure. You’ll definitely hear a lot of it throughout this episode’s many oral sex, masturbation, and group fucking scenes. They jam a lot of animated action into just half an hour, and these anime studs jam a lot of animated schlong into a couple of tiny schoolgirls.
After I watched the BBFs go all FFM, I pointed my browser at one of HentaiPros’s incest movies, Taboo Charming Stepmother 2. Like the lesbian cartoon, this one also aims to cram as much depravity into 30 minutes as possible. This one has anal and pussy fingering, multiple blowjobs, DP, cowgirl and missionary, multiple scenes with multiple partners, and a massive collection of animated sex toys. Oh, and all the depravity was arranged by the mature whore’s stepson.
Jerking Off in Japanese w/o Subtitles
I click the little gear icon on the video, looking for a subtitles option. The landing page before I signed in claimed that subtitles were available now. I don’t see the option anywhere. When I typed Subtitles into the search bar, Friends Forever 1 was one of just four videos that popped up. None of them actually have subtitles available, so you just have to guess what the dude in Menkui is telling the anime brunette as he hammers her cunt with a giant, pixelated penis.
I’ll be honest: I don’t actually give much of a fuck about the subtitles. I tend to spank my monkey to the cartoon titty fucks, animated creampies, and hentai gangbangs, not the dialogue. As far as I’m concerned, all the talking is just there to set up the sex scenes. I do think it’s bullshit that HentaiPros claims they’ve got subtitles when I can’t find any.
Even though they’ve been around since 2014, I kind of wonder if the site was never finished. The subtitle thing is one clue, but they’ve also got a useless Categories page. It’s a beautiful grid of brightly colored, pornographic cartoon thumbnails representing smut genres like Anal, MILF, Orgy and Solo. Since hentai is Japanese, you’ve also got categories like Pregnant, Bukkake and Futanari. The problem is, none of those thumbnails link to anything. They’re just dirty pictures and words.
There is a full, browsable list of categories if you head to the Videos page. The search bar opens a dropdown with a massive list of genres like Booty Shorts, Double Penetration, Multiple Cum Cleanup, Piss and Strap-On. It’s a deeper selection than the Categories page, which again makes me wonder why that page exists except to confuse wankers.
A Good Bang for Your Buck or Nah?
I have mixed feelings about HentaiPros. I’m more than a little annoyed by the misleading text on the landing page. I’m sure they’ll have weaboos rushing to sign up as soon as they see that “Subtitles Available Now” message, and those fuckers are going to be a lot more pissed off than I was that the dialogue is still incomprehensible to a non-Japanese speaker. I did expect to see some censorship, as it comes with the territory on any hentai site, but it’s fucking bullshit to mix it in under a label that says LATEST UNCENSORED HENTAI in bold capital letters.
That said, HentaiPros absolutely does offer content you’re not going to find anywhere else. True hentai geeks are always looking for new sources of fresh adult anime, especially when you can see uncensored naughty bits. It can be hard for Westerners to get access to the stuff, but HentaiPros delivers weekly doses on a website aimed at English speakers. It may cost you a few bucks a month to watch anime sluts getting violated, but HentaiPros acts like your friend in Japan, digging through the pile to bring you the very best stuff.
ThePornDude likes HentaiPros's
- Uncensored hentai genitals
- Weekly updates
- Nearly 200 animated xxx episodes in the archive
ThePornDude hates HentaiPros's
- Downloads cost extra
- Censored material mixed in
- Broken/unfinished categories page