As soon as you try to make your way inside EroticMonkey.com which is a website that is all about escort reviews and escort information, you will be asked whether you are 18. Fair enough. The page, as it clearly states is entirely for entertainment purposes, and it contains no nude pictures. After getting the “are you 18?” box out of the screen, you’ll get to see a few things on the page, but the biggest eye-catcher is the big black text, blacker than your mother-in-law’s heart, underneath the home button, and this text right here explains what you’re going to be in for on the ever exhilarating Erotic Monkey. Onwards.
EroticMonkey.com is a trustworthy source for quality escort reviews, so if you need a girl to keep you company for the night, this is most likely a good place to find them. Now, the home page can tell you a lot of things about the page on its own. For starters, you know that this page is all about the good ole U.S. of A. since what you’ll be seeing in the sidebar are the cities in North America. So, you’ll most likely be wasting time on EroticMonkey.com if you’re European. Maybe if you pay for her boat ticket across the pond…how lonely are you really?
For example, if you’re looking at Atlanta, you’ll see that about 13 thousand escorts available, however, if you look at Chicago, there are around 14k girls, and so on. You get the drill. Now, right next to the section where all these US cities are listed you can find the newest escort reviews. So, if you look to the right, you’ll see a few pages full of escorts where you can see the most basic info on these girls. The number of reviews of the escorts, the age and the location of the girl, a brief description of the gal and so on. However, if you do want to learn more about the girl, then you might as well check in by clicking on the “read full review” button in the bottom right corner. Most of the time, the reviews are stellar since dudes who hired them never had a girl in their life period, so you can bet your ass that the reviews are going to be full of praise for these broads.
The biggest pain in the ass will be that pop-up window, and it will ask you to login to the page. Given that you are most likely still not registered on EroticMonkey.com, you’ll want to know a few things about the login process. So, first of all, it’s completely free, and it only requires that you give up your e-mail and that you assign a password to your account. After that, pussy awaits!
For example, as I said, you get to see the age of the girl just like you can do on the homepage without clicking anything, however, you get to see whether the girl is trans or not, her height, whether she has any piercings, does she like to smoke or not, blow or not.. Furthermore, the style of the escort is there as well, and “straight” is the option that is listed most of the time. Now, her breast size is also listed, so if you really want to geek out on these things, then you can easily go that deep, should you chose to do so.
Now, fellas, if you can’t tell if her boobs are natural or plastic, which honestly isn’t always that easy to tell, regardless of me being a “boob sniper”, this info is listed on the page as well. They’ll also mention what her vagina looks like. For example, this girl I’m checking out right now has “a bald kitty” vajajay. Can you imagine? Her puss has a certain look and you can choose that look? Man, I must be getting old, I need to brush up on my “pussy types”, TPD can’t be caught slipping on topics like these.
Since we’re living in the 21st century, it is noted that whenever you decide to call any of these girls, you must mention EM when you call them. Now, if you want to see a review of the girl, rather than just checking out plain info, then you’ll have to pay up. Yup, pay up for the layup buster! Basically, you’ll have to get the premium membership which costs around 30$ if you want a 1-month membership, but if you want to pay up with a Visa / MC Debit card, a 12-month membership would cost 280$. A premium membership allows you to read the most up-to-date escort reviews, and ads are removed as well. Furthermore, you get to see all of the escort pictures, which for most of us is probably a very important thing. Am I right or am I totally right?
EroticMonkey.com is very easy to use, and it has plenty of stunning escorts posted on it so there’s pretty much nothing that you wouldn’t like on EroticMonkey.com. Personally, I wouldn’t mind using this website if I wanted to get laid, so if I’m a dirty old freak, what’s your excuse? Check out EroticMonkey.com. It’s heaven full of angels who love to behave like devils’ secretaries. Need I say more?
ThePornDude likes Erotic Monkey's
- A lot of girls are available, and they're quite gorgeous.
ThePornDude hates Erotic Monkey's
- The page seems cluttery, and it's not very good looking.