Fuck out of here with your feeble porn tube sites that don’t even have a million videos on them. Do you call that a fucking porn site? Pathetic. I’d keep shaming them, but, hey, maybe they’re into that shit. But, for real, I’m sick of heading to a promising porn tube only to find that they have a shitty selection. That defeats the whole point of a damn tube site. I don’t need a hand-picked selection of whatever the site owner thinks good porn is. Give it all to me. I want the good, the bad, and the sexy. Hell, half the fun of these sites is popping around from shitty video to shitty video hoping that you find a gem.
Alohatube.com is here to take you away to your own little island of porn. And I use little loosely. This is more like a massive continent of porn. Mountains of mammaries, deserts of deepthroat, lakes of lust, and cliffs of cucks. You get the idea. Alohatube.com is, you guessed it, a free porn tube site with a fuck ton of content. The only thing that they have more of is views. Nearly 20 million of you horny fucks come to this site to jerk off every single month. And this site has been amassing content since way back in 2010.
Decent Site Layout, but the Color Scheme is Gag Worthy
But holy fuck. The site theme may be the ugliest damn thing I have ever looked at. And that’s counting all of the whales I see walking about WalMart in their hole-ridden sweatpants. It’s a baby puke yellow-green color that makes me want retch. I can vaguely see that they were going for some sort of tropical island theme to go with the domain name, but, man I haven’t see a case of good idea poor execution this bad since the last time you tried to get laid.
Moving past the looks, this site is organized fairly well. They’ve got a simple logo up top with some impressive stats under it. There are over 5 million videos on the fucking site. You couldn’t watch that many videos in your entire life. This week they’ve added over 80 thousand, and today alone they’ve pumped in nearly 13 thousand new videos. If you want updates, then this site has it for sure.
Hundreds of Kinky Fetish Sections to Choose From
The homepage functions as the category page. The more popular categories have sexy preview images that are decent enough quality. You’re not getting HD high-res photos here. But you do get video counts. Not that it ends up mattering that much here. Each category is usually packed with hundreds of thousands of videos at least.
If you don’t see your preferred form of degeneracy in that section, then just keep scrolling to get a list of what has to be nearly a thousand categories. Bukkake, Monster Tits, Gagging, Cucumber, Whipping, and Slave are just a few of the many, many options you have to choose from. Even the smaller categories have at least a few hundred videos for you to jerk off to.
Besides that page, there are only two other options. Top rated and new movies. Simple as fuck. I like it. Though, with such a bare-bones site, you don’t get many other user options. No ratings, view counts, filter options, or anything like that. But I don’t mind that they’re lacking that here. They know what they are.
Content From Almost Every Big Name Free Porn Site
And, before we hop into the videos, I should explain exactly what this site is. They don’t produce content. The site has these things called crawlers that go out and find content from all the other big sites out there and upload it here. So, you get massive array of content. Good, bad, ugly, and everything in between. And it’ll be a toss-up for whether or not the site links you somewhere else to watch the video or just hosts it on a separate page.
On Site Video Player isn’t Great, But Most Videos are Hosted Off-Site
The video previews were better than I thought they would be. You get a decent sized preview image that may or may not flash between a few shots from the scene. I think it’s only their top rated shit that lets you do that, but still not a bad feature. You also get an upload date, video length, studio/site it came from, and a title. Don’t expect to get the pornstars names or anything. It’s pretty fucking bare bones.
The on-site video player isn’t great. Sure, the content plays quickly, but sometimes speed just doesn’t cut it on it’s own. It’s like having some whore go down on you who just goes fast without any technique. And you know that’s the kind of bitch who uses her teeth way too much. Fuck that. It’s the same deal here.
You don’t get any sort of quality toggles or download options, but that’s actually not a huge deal. The video player doesn’t need to be that good, because there’s always an option to watch the video on the site it came from. It’s always coming from a reputable free site, so just click over to get a better player that usually has some sweet, sweet download options.
Clunky but Functional Mobile Site
The mobile site could be better. It’s got some wonky formatting issues that align all of the previews to the left and leave this swathe of white space on the right side. You can still access all of the same categories and site pages as you could on desktop. But the only difference with videos on here is that you won’t get the on-site video player. It looks like the mobile site will automatically direct you to whatever site that the content was taken from. Not a bad deal. I prefer those video players anyway.
ThePornDude’s Favorite Features
My favorite feature of Alohatube.com is the sheer quantity of videos. I know that I’ve said that about other sites in the past, but this one really takes the fucking cake. There are few sites that can compete with these numbers. Yeah, sure, it’s all links at the end of the day. But what’s that matter? You’re getting a master list of porn without having to compile it yourself. And they add hundreds of videos by the minute. Every time you hit refresh on this damn site you’ll get a whole new set of videos. It’s a porn addict’s wet dream. Or worst nightmare? I don’t fucking know.
I’m also a fan of just how organized the site is for a place with such frequent uploads. Usually, sites like this are a huge clusterfuck of content without any organization at all. Somehow they manage to get every new video put into the correct category in an instant. They probably pull from the main site’s tags or some shit. Regardless, it’s a great touch for an already awesome site. I mean, how are you supposed to go wrong when you have over 500 categories?
Please, please, change the horrendous color of the site. Holy shit is it bad. I know I talked about it before, but I’ve browsed scat sites that were easier to stomach than this hot mess. But, thankfully, that’s my only huge gripe with the site. Sure, some small changes could be made to make it a sleeker site with more features. But why bother? It’s a directory. It doesn’t need to be flashy to make money. You won’t be spending too much time there as is, since most of the videos are hosted elsewhere anyway.
ThePornDude’s Final Thoughts
Overall, Alohatube.com is a great site to visit if you want to browse millions of videos all in one place. Tired of bouncing back between five open tabs of different porn tube sites trying to find the perfect video to nut to? Well, just use Alohatube.com instead. All of the videos here are free and come from legitimate sites that won’t scam you or give you viruses. And it’s all cataloged in a neat, easy to browse fashion. Hell, you picky fucks out there might get a boner for the organization on its own.
ThePornDude likes AlohaTube's
- Over 5 Million (and Counting!) Videos to Choose From
- Thousands of Videos Uploaded Every Single Day
- No Annoying Ads
- Hundreds of Incredibly Kinky, Content-Packed Categories
ThePornDude hates AlohaTube's
- Vomit Inducing Color Scheme