Vintage Porn Premium Sites
I want to watch exclusive full-length classic adult DVDs from the golden age of porn without ads!
Adult DVDs, huh? That’s old school as hell, but I feel you. One thing I liked about that old physical media was that the ads were at the beginning, if there were any at all, so they were really easy to fast-forward through. The free tubes really fuck you over, throwing boner pill ads at you nonstop when you’re just trying to watch a vintage movie of a woman with a hairy beaver getting rammed up the ass in the back of an old VW bus. Who the hell needs that bullshit?
The vintage and classic porn paysites on my list let you watch old VHS and DVD rips, and sometimes even some old 8mm amateur footage that your grandpa may have shot, without making you bust out a heavy, antiquated metal box to play them. Have you ever wanted to see Granny’s cooch? That old-timey shit is on the web now. It may be old, but it’s easier to watch now than it has ever been before.
Why should I pay for vintage premium porn, if I can just watch it for free?
Man, nobody is stopping you from digging through your dad’s old stash in the attic, plugging in an old VCR and hoping it doesn’t eat the old man’s priceless collection of vintage anal sex flicks. As a matter of fact, that’s probably the best way to find videos of your mom fingering herself on camera before going down on your dirty uncle Larry. You have to understand, though, even a prolific pervert like your old man can only hoard so much smut. You want selection, you have to hit the net.
Or maybe you’re talking about the retro sex scenes you can find on the tubes. Again, your selection is going to be severely limited compared to what you’ll find on the classic porn paysites. Not only that, but you know goddamn well that the tubes will spam you to hell as you’re trying to watch an early interracial gang bang movie, back when just photographing that kind of material could get you shot through the spine and paralyzed for life. A few bucks a month earns you unfettered access to dirty movies from the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s without a bunch of modern, high-tech spam getting in the way.
What are the best vintage porn premium sites in 2019?
While most of the big premium sex sites on the Internet focus on releasing their own exclusive new pornos, classic porn sites work on more of a Netflix model. That means the best vintage smut collections are ones that are able to license material from as many classic porno production companies as possible. More studios means more content, which means you can spend a lot more of your time whacking your tail to classic scenes of blondes squirting, brunettes taking creampies, Latinas swapping cum and Asian sluts getting filled up, DP style.
Right now, TheClassicPorn is easily your best bet. These motherfuckers really seem to have done their homework, tracking down tons of retro sex movies that could have otherwise been lost to time. They’ve got over 8000 now, and the collection just grows and grows and grows. The same thing will happen to the little guy in your pants as soon as you take a look.
I don’t want to pay the full price for retro pornography! Do you have a discount for me?
You know, you should be happy you get to watch the stuff at all. It’s practically a goddamn miracle that vintage movies of chicks like Bridget Lahaie, Asia Carrera and Desiree Cousteau getting banged in every hole still exist and are mere mouse clicks away from your masturbatory perusal and enjoyment. The old fogies who grew up with this smut would certainly pay out the ass for a good nostalgia wank, but none of these sites even charge that much. Any of you motherfuckers complaining obviously don’t remember the days of buying hard copy porn from that dirty shop just off the highway. Now that shit was fucking expensive, even if you didn’t bang a lot lizard on the way out!
I am The Porn Dude, though, so naturally, I’ve got a few connections in the industry. I always try to get my readers a good deal on sex flicks, whether you’re looking for modern VR bukkake films projected onto your eyeballs or retro movies of classic lesbians going down on each other’s hairy muffs. When you’re browsing any section of my site, always remember to use my links so the paysites know where you came from. If I got you a deal, it will be rolled into the price without you having to do a goddamn thing.
Classic porn with hairy pussy galore and incest taboo stories? Sign me up! I can fap to anything with a hole!
Hey, you’re not going to be fapping to just anything here. These movies may be old, but they still exist because they’ve stood the test of time. The retro flicks on these vintage porn sites are movies that perverts have lovingly saved and kept in playable condition for decades. The tired, boring old sex movies full of ugly bitches who don’t know how to bang mostly go forgotten and will never be seen again. These antique films of French whores, Ebony goddesses and Latina sluts getting all crammed full of cock are called classics for a reason. You’re about to find out why.
One of the most fascinating things about classic smut is that the professional porno collectors and perverted archivists are always coming up with fuck movies that nobody has seen in decades. Where the hell did they come from? I guess if I knew, I could sell them for myself, but I’ll have to be content to just watch old movies of lesbian tribbing and hardcore fisting whenever they make the leap from DVD or VHS to the web. I update this list whenever I find that new old stock of vintage pornography, so keep this page bookmarked if you like to rock with the classics.