The GF Network
Who doesn’t love ex-girlfriend porn? #MeToo, that’s fucking who! But who gives a fuck about those bitches (and would you really fuck any of them anyway?)? Don’t let them lie to you about what your dick already knows: ex-girlfriend porn – real ex-girlfriend porn – isn’t just hot it’s sun-surface-level scorching!
Let’s be real a minute fellas. Most of the bitches starring in their own amateur porno are ignorant dumb sluts that seem to never seem to grasp what the fuck is going on. They’re usually college-age and tight, down to fuck but airheads, barely used but experienced enough and so goddamn sexy. Just the thought of fucking someone so clueless yet sexy is enough to make PornDude want to stop reviewing, run to my 100-gallon drum of personal lube and tug one out over and over again until I’m shooting cum dust.
Cum dust: it’s like space dust and (and it fucking looks like space dust too). You dudes know that a great robot scientist that once drove around in a wheelchair and drank bourbon out of a fucking child’s bottle once said that, “our semen is made of the cosmos; when we cum we are cumming particles of the universe and that’s what makes it continue to expand.”
Yeah alright so maybe he didn’t say that. But if the universe expanded every time someone blew a load all over their keyboard from ex-girlfriend porn you can bet your ass the fucking thing would never stop expanding! So it should come as no surprise that when I learned about an entire network devoted to ex-girlfriend porn my dick stood at attention faster than a gay guy’s ears perk up every time he hears a musical involving tap dancing.
The GF Network is a premium site
This isn’t the fake ass lame ex-girlfriend porn you see teased on other free tube cam sites. Do you think you’re going to be able to access this level of premier, exclusive content for free? What do you think this is mother fucker a goddamn porn soup kitchen?! You’d be out of your fucking mind to think this caliber of ex-girlfriend content would be free but fortunately, it’s fairly cost-effective.
The GF Network allows you to taste test all of the sites in its network for only $1. It only lasts for 24-hours so if you’re going to check it out, it’s best to make it count. Beyond that, membership starts at $27.95 per month and $59.97 for three months so the latter option gives you nearly one month absolutely free. Pricing is pretty par for the course when it comes to premium porn. And this is exclusive ex-girlfriend porn you cheap ass! Interested? Well, you better pay up!
Access to 20+ ex-girlfriend sites for one lump sum
The GF Network, fortunately, makes it worth your time forking over part of your paycheck just to bust those big ol’ balls! Offering over 20-ex girlfriend sites all for one lump sum they have exactly what you’re fucking looking for. Into Latina, BBW, Asian, black, or bitches with huge tits? The GF Network has a site for that! Want to watch ex-girlfriends that are fucking weird and eccentric (in other words annoying as shit)? The GF Network has what you’re looking for. They even offer squirting, BDSM, and ex-girlfriends that were secretly recorded. Do you want true amateur porn? Dudes, I don’t think it gets more authentic than that!
Ex-girlfriend content is truly user submitted
A lot of places (especially free tube sites) like to brag about their user-submitted content and act like it’s an awesome source for amateur porn. More amateur porn options is never a bad thing except when it’s obvious it’s not actually amateur. Don’t you fucking hate that? When you can’t tell the difference between porn that’s labeled as amateur porn and vids that were obviously recorded at a professional porn shoot not only confuses your rock hard dick, it also makes the search fucking frustrating.
That’s never the case across the 20+ sites at The GF Network. When they say their content is user submitted, buddy this shit is user submitted! Every fucking video is user submitted! That means every thumbnail you see when trying to find something to nut to features an amateur horny bitch that could very well be someone you know next door or down the street. The notion that every hot piece of ass that comes up in search results is truly an amateur just like you and I makes me wish I could stroke all day and never cum. Every bitch you see you have a better chance with than any goddamn video starring a wannabe porn star. This is true amateur porn at its finest and it makes other ex-girlfriend sites pale in comparison.
Thank fucking God thumbnails don’t autoplay!
If you’ve read from the Word of PornDude you know that one of the trends across porn sites that makes my fucking blood boil hotter than molten scorching lava is the auto-playing of thumbnails! It ruins the action of what’s to come and when a normal thumbnail tells me everything I need to know about whether or not I want to watch a video it seems unnecessary. The GF Network either read my critiques, ran to the board of directors, threw a piece of paper with some legal shit on the table, and shouted, “the genius has spoken and we need to change this NOW JOHNSON *spits in Johnson’s face* now go get yourself cleaned up!” or they’re actually smart and figured out that auto-playing thumbnails is not only annoying but would give away their content for free.
Hmm, you mean to tell me that some people may not click on a video if they see the thumbnail begin to autoplay before ever clicking the video? Gee whiz gang what a fucking revelation! Shitting Mother Mary and Joseph it’s about time someone figured this out! The GF Network seems to know what it’s doing so I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I noticed that none of the thumbnails were auto-playing anything. This allowed me to focus primarily on the videos I wanted to look at, figure out which ones seemed the sexiest (you know, because non-autoplaying thumbnails tell you everything you need to know!), and go from there. Simple, to-the-point, and none of the unneeded auto-playing bullshit you find on most sites.
So I’m going to say this one more fucking time: enough of the autoplaying bullshit. The GF Network figured out you don’t need to do it so cut it out!
The mobile site is fucking gorgeous
Look, fellas, I’m just a simple man. When I pick up my phone to jerk off, I just want the mobile site to at least be responsive. As long as the videos are clear, it’s simple to choose which vids I want to watch, and my device isn’t flooded with pop-ups and ads that are probably slowly giving it cancer I’m not going to bitch too much.
With that being said, The GF Network’s mobile site is a thing of beauty. This isn’t just a mobile version of The GF Network: it’s the actual goddamn version of the desktop site! They’ve scaled it down to where it looks exactly like the desktop version except everything just feels tighter (tighter than the hot sexy sluts in these videos!). Browsing for videos via touchscreen is responsive, fast, and it looks like a million bucks.
When it comes to surfing porn sites, the desktop versions still look better. The GF Network may be in a rare category though. I thought the mobile version of the site was actually the better, more attractive option. I’m not shitting on the desktop version by any means: it’s a bitchin’ site that I have no complaints about. But it goes to show you just how perfectly designed the mobile site actually is. A lot of time has been put into the web design of The GF Network. You don’t see this level of care applied to most porn sites, and it’s yet another thing that puts The GF Network into a category all of its own.
Teasers would be nice
Call me a cheap asshole for wanting a little something for free because I don’t give a fuck. It doesn’t change the fact that it would be nice for the brains over at The GF Network to give us a little something for free. It could be anything: a 30-second teaser video for each kink site or even a free clip on the main page. Horny fuckers need to know the level of quality they can expect from a suite of ex-girlfriend porn that is The GF Network rather than locking it all down. Use drug dealer logic: make the first one free. Once you’ve got horny dudes hooked on the taste of ex-girlfriend porn they won’t be able to hand over their cash fast enough!
ThePornDude likes The GF Network's
- One lump sum gives you access to 20+ ex-girlfriend sites.
- Content is only user submitted ex-girlfriend porn.
- The GF Network has a site for most kinks.
- THANK YOU FOR NOT ALLOWING THUMBNAILS TO FUCKING AUTOPLAY!
- The mobile site is one of the most gorgeous porn sites you’ll see.
- Quality user-submitted content that puts it in a class all its own.
ThePornDude hates The GF Network's
- No teaser videos.